There are holes in the sky
Where the rain comes in
But the holes are very small
So the rain is very thin
(Spike)
I managed to walk the dog before the flood...
I rather enjoy walking in the rain so long as there's no wind...on the beach downpours seem particularly clean and wet, so it's like having a good old rinse in a power shower...
Unfortunately it makes the hound smell like old poo.
If I pay a years subscription...
And I never go...
Not once..
I WIN !
( Because I'm paying good money not to be in hell )...
You know it makes sense !
(Ticks another box on the New Years resolution list...)
That's 'Join a Gymn' sorted !
Phew !
*sweated buckets over that dilemna*
*ringring*
No...
I assure you I did not bring my eldest child up...
To tell you to fuck off because you are a sheep-shagger and then leap through the window in a single bound...
I don't know where he gets it from...
*ringring*
No...
I assure you I did not bring my youngest child up
To pierce her own nose in the school toilets with a safety-pin...
I don't know where she gets it from...
*ringring*
No...
I assure you Doctor, my husband really is blue and can't breathe for toffee...
Any other symptoms ? As in ' what else could possibly be amiss here ? '...
*ringring*
No...
I assure you Mum, I brought your Sunday dinner in yesterday with your lottery numbers, you haven't been starving for a week...
*ringring*
No...
Mr Spacestyle I do not require windows today....no, I really don't...and again...
Oh fuck off you sheep-shagger !
* leaps through closed window in a single bound armed with a safety-pin, a chicken-dinner and a nebuliser *
Rings 1471...
*ringring*
Oh hello ?...
Is that Spacestyle Windows ?...
See what you made me do ?...
I demand a free replacement window forthwith !
So not butterly barking mad then ?
In the beginning god said 'let there be sunpat lite '
A big slice of honeydew melon, a fried egg butty and a spicy Bloody Mary...
Ho Yurs...
Get in !
I just glanced at the bedside clock and came away with the idea of three pounds and tuppence in my poor fried brain...
This is not too good...
I'm numerically challenged at the best of times, which this clearly isn't...
Whatever time it is...
Cats...
They blink meaningfuly at you when you give then their Moggo...
'I am pleased'
They blink meaningfuly at you when you don't...
' I am displeased '
Eeek ....
There is absolutely nothing that I can't do without..
Everything can fall off the edge of the universe as far as I'm concerned ...
(Which ...quite frankly ...isn't all it's cracked up to be... )
If Mr Rowntree sticks to his half of the bargain with the fruity confectionary supplies...
Then I'll stick to mine...
(We're getting there... just a couple of hours work to go, and most of that will be taking the paint off the walls and staining to give far less definition )
* gets out favourite oily rag / bath sponge*
