Well hot damn on a tram...
Singing in a choir at the Liverpool Phil-( loosely named ) -harmonic Hall next week will be a bit of a trial...
All us shorties get to stand at the front, and I'm next to a belting (what are they called again ? The trilly skinny ones with L'Oreal curls ?...oh yes...Sopranos ) who outnumber us 2:1 .
And I'm in the (what are they called again ? Lesbians ? The ones with moustaches and flat shoes because their feet hurt...who get to do the really difficult dull 'duh duh ' harmonies ? )...Altos.
Big fuck-off stage and when they turn the lights on the audience will have buggered off home...
Need a new black frock...
Er...what's it called again ? ...
Pronto !!!
(I'm getting the hang of the lingo already ).
la_spice
You'll probably like this excerpt from "A Guide to Choir Singers"
THE SOPRANOS are the ones who sing the highest, and, because of this, they think they rule the world. They have longer hair, fancier jewellery, and swishier skirts than anyone else. They consider themselves insulted if they are not allowed to go at least to a high F in every movement of any given piece. When they reach the high notes, they hold them for at least half again as long as the composer and/or conductor requires and then complain that their throats are killing them and that both the composer and conductor are sadists.
Sopranos have varied attitudes toward the other sections of the chorus, though they consider all of them inferior. Altos are to sopranos rather like second violins to first violins - nice to harmonise with but not really necessary. All sopranos have a secret feeling that the altos could drop out and the piece would sound essentially the same, and they don't understand why anybody would sing in that range in the first place - it's so boring. Tenors, on the other hand, can be very nice to have around; besides their flirtation possibilities (it is a well-known fact that sopranos never flirt with basses), sopranos like to sing duets with tenors because all the tenors are doing is working very hard to sing in a low-to-medium soprano range, while the sopranos are up there in their range (the stratosphere) showing off effortlessly. To sopranos, basses are the scum of the earth. They sing too damn loudly, are useless to tune to because they're down in that low, low range, and there has to be something wrong with anyone who sings in the F clef. Although while they swoon while the tenors sing, they still end up going home with the basses.