*ringring*
No...
I assure you I did not bring my eldest child up...
To tell you to fuck off because you are a sheep-shagger and then leap through the window in a single bound...
I don't know where he gets it from...
*ringring*
No...
I assure you I did not bring my youngest child up
To pierce her own nose in the school toilets with a safety-pin...
I don't know where she gets it from...
*ringring*
No...
I assure you Doctor, my husband really is blue and can't breathe for toffee...
Any other symptoms ? As in ' what else could possibly be amiss here ? '...
*ringring*
No...
I assure you Mum, I brought your Sunday dinner in yesterday with your lottery numbers, you haven't been starving for a week...
*ringring*
No...
Mr Spacestyle I do not require windows today....no, I really don't...and again...
Oh fuck off you sheep-shagger !
* leaps through closed window in a single bound armed with a safety-pin, a chicken-dinner and a nebuliser *
Rings 1471...
*ringring*
Oh hello ?...
Is that Spacestyle Windows ?...
See what you made me do ?...
I demand a free replacement window forthwith !
